10 Ways to Stay Centered During the Holidays
The holidays are a notoriously stressful time. No matter what you celebrate this time of year, there’s shopping, holiday parties and work and with friends, more school commitments with the kids (holiday concerts, anyone?), travel plans, or preparations for visitors. Being with family can simultaneously be a blessing and a curse with togetherness and love happening along side of competing personalities and judgment.
This stress is one of the reasons that the holidays are prime time for unhealthy eating, excess drinking, and weight gain. It’s not just about all the sugar and booze that’s available. When we experience higher levels of stress, we tend to make decisions that are not necessarily in our best interests because it’s easier than staying on track. Stress is mentally exhausting, and remaining disciplined (or trying to build discipline) takes mental effort. The mind is like a muscle, and when muscles get tired, they fatigue more easily. If we can mitigate some of the holiday stress and stay in a good head space, we have a better chance of staying on track and feeling our best over the hectic holiday season.
Here are 10 things you can do to stay centered during the holidays and hopefully mitigate some of that stress:
1. Stick with your routine as much as possible. Although this is difficult because there are so many “special” things happening like parties, shopping, etc., staying on a routine as much as possible gives you a strong grounding and helps you find a way to stay centered in the stress and chaos. Try to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning — yes, even on the weekends. Have an evening ritual before bed and a morning ritual when you wake up. This will give your day a firm grounding at the beginning and the end, which gives you some mental refuge from the craziness during the rest of the day.
2. Meditate – many people think that meditation is about making your mind be empty, but it’s not. That’s impossible. Meditation is about training your mind to focus on one thing, like breath or a visual stimulus like a candle or an auditory stimulus like a mantra. We can never stop thinking, but we can train ourselves to have more control over what our mind does. Having a solid meditation practice helps you find a few moments of calm in an otherwise chaotic time, and helps you calm the mind down from all the stress that’s swirling around inside. Meditation also builds up the mental fortitude needed to get and stay disciplined.
3. Get some sleep. This is SO HARD to do. There are so many “to-do” things swirling around in our brains (meditation can help with that) that it’s often hard to fall asleep, or we’re doing so much we’re sacrificing sleep to get it done. The more sleep you miss, the less energy you have, the more crap you will eat, the more miserable you will be. Sleep impacts EVERYTHING so do everything you can today, but remember there’s still tomorrow. Another note — especially for the parents reading this — staying awake late at night after the kids go to bed so you can have “time to yourself” may not be the most constructive use of your time, especially if you’re bingeing on Netflix and then not getting a full night of sleep. Let a full night of sleep be your time for yourself. You will feel so much better.
4. Find some non-obligatory social time. This means go out for coffee with a friend, have a date night with your spouse (even if it’s at home watching a movie/wrapping presents while you’re watching a movie), set up a play date so you can have some adult human contact that’s not work-related so your kids can have fun together. Taking an hour or two to just ENJOY yourself can help get your mind in a good place to do everything else you need to do. Also, spending time with a friend helps you lift your spirits and takes your mind away from the rest of the stress you’re experiencing.
5. Find some alone time. Take a bubble bath, read, meditate. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, taking a few minutes to just “be” and not have to be responsive or reactive can do wonders to help you re-center during the holidays. Unplug during this time. Remember — SLEEP CAN BE YOUR ALONE TIME! Don’t be afraid to sleep in another room for a night if you just need to be alone and get a good night’s sleep.
6. Be nice to people. I’m talking about that lady who is working the check-out counter at Macy’s downtown with a line 15 people deep who appears to be moving slower than molasses in January. Be nice to her. When you’ve waited in line for an hour and you’re in a rush and you’re pissed off, take an extra moment to say “I know this must be a really crazy time of year, and you must encounter so many unpleasant people. Thank you for what you do – because you do this, other people can give their families a happy holiday.” You have no idea what people are going through. Be a bright shiny light – not a grinch.
7. Work out. When we get stressed, self-care is the first thing to go. Finding time to squeeze in a workout, whether it’s an hour, half an hour, or even 5 minutes at the end of every hour will boost your mood and energy and help you get through the holidays. You may think you don’t have time. Make time. You may think you don’t have energy. Working out will give you more energy. Put your excuses aside and get it done. (Yes, friends, a little tough love here.)
8. Eat healthy foods. Yes, yes, I know cookies and cakes and peppermint bark are everywhere, and by all means enjoy them. But these are foods that slow you down, and my guess is the last thing you need right now is to be slowed down. So seek out those lean proteins, veggies, and healthy starches like sweet potatoes and whole grains. Meal prep in batches so you all you have to do is throw something in the microwave. Have healthy snacks on hand. Your body, brain, and mood will thank you for it.
9. Don’t take things personally. Whether it’s the aggressive driver you don’t know, or the critical in-laws that you do know, a person’s behavior says a lot more about them than it does about you. As I said above in the section about being nice to people, you have no idea what someone else is going through. When someone is nasty to you, this is an opportunity to practice compassion — not get wrapped up in their negative energy. Pay attention to how that person makes you feel, and that will most likely match up with what’s going on inside of them. Is someone saying something that hurts your feelings? Chances are they’re dealing with their own hurt. Is someone belittling you? Chances are they feel small themselves. When you see a person’s behavior as a reflection of what’s going on inside of them, and remove yourself from the equation, it’s a lot easier to feel and practice compassion.
10. Just have fun! Enough said — Happy Holidays everyone!